How to Make the Right Decision Every Time

  • Posted By: on October 24th, 2007

You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, simply wait. You need not even wait; just learn to become quiet, and still, and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

– Franz Kafka

What if I were to tell you that you could learn how to make the right decision in every single situation, every single time? Would you believe me? Would you think I’m crazy?

Actually, you don’t have to learn how to make the right decision every time, you already know how.

Now you must really think I’m crazy.

You Already Have Everything You Need

Each one of us has been blessed with an internal compass that lets us know whether or not we are about to make the right decision in any situation. I like to call this compass universal intuition.

This universal intuition quickly takes into account all of the factors and outcomes involved with a certain decision, computes it in the universal super-computer, and quickly gives us feedback in the form of a feeling within our bodies.

This speedy wisdom comes from within us, but is not exactly human. It’s a wisdom that is in touch with the universe at large. It understands how a decision we make reverberates throughout the universe, and the effect it will have in the grand scheme of things.

The longer we choose to act in violation of our universal intuition, the longer we will be dissatisfied with our results in life. Every time we choose to disobey the universe’s wisdom, we are choosing to pit ourselves against the entire force of the universe. No longer will it be working for us, instead it will begin to work against us.

Talk about an uphill battle! It’s no wonder most people are unhappy with their lives.

What is Universal Intuition?

If we wish to gain the cooperation of universal intuition, we must learn to accept its advice. It has been present inside of us since we were born, but as we’ve grown up we’ve been conditioned to ignore it. We’ve been taught to use our “heads” to think through things, and to be rational. All of this has put us out of touch with universal intuition.

Often times, this drives us crazy. We can think, and think, and think through a decision, but most of the time we’ll come up with nothing. When I was deciding whether or not to drop out of college, I thought about it for nearly a year before I realized thinking was driving me nuts, and was ultimately futile.

I finally decided to stop thinking, and start feeling. It was so simple, yet so profound. As soon as I acknowledged the feeling associated with each of my options, I achieved incredible clarity. The right choice had been right underneath my nose all along.

I was so miserable in school, and the universe had been telling me so for an entire year. During that year I continued to fight this wisdom, and school progressively became more draining and more tedious day by day. Once I made the decision to drop out, I experienced an immediate and substantial release of tension. It felt like everything was right again.

Our huge brains are double-edged swords. They are miraculous in that they give us access to so much raw thinking power, but they are a hindrance in that they put us out of touch with our hearts (universal intuition). When our hearts are trying to tell us something, our thoughts cloud our minds and often times cause us to make wrong and painful decisions.

How to Listen to Universal Intuition

Listening to universal intuition is only as hard as we choose to make it. The more we deny its existence, and the more we choose to let our thoughts dominate our decision making process, the harder life will be.

Life is not meant to be excessively hard. Life is not meant to be overwhelmingly draining.

Life is meant to be enjoyable. Life is meant to be invigorating.

The next time you face a tough decision, sit down in a quiet place and clear your mind. Rid yourself of the conflicting thoughts racing around inside of your head. Be still. Try to feel the wisdom of the universe by your side. This feeling may be extremely faint, but you’ll find that it’s always there, pointing you in the right direction.

It may be telling you yes, or no. It may be saying stop, or go. It may be telling you that you need to quit your job, or that you need to end your unsatisfactory relationship of 5 years. It may be telling you the business you are trying to get started doesn’t truly stir your passion, and that you need to pursue something else. It may manifest itself as a feeling of discomfort, advising you not to make a certain decision. Or it may manifest itself as a feeling of comfort, advising you to make a certain decision.

Acknowledge this feeling, and understand that when you listen to it, you cannot make the wrong decision. Have faith that something more powerful than you can understand is working for you behind the scenes. Choose to act in accordance with this universal wisdom, and the entire universe will have no choice but to roll in ecstasy at your feet.

It’s that simple.

Photo by jackcaptive

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  1. Carl Zetterlund said on October 25th, 2007 at 3:01 pm

    This is something I’ve been struggling about…

    There are so many things about the universe we don’t know about. This is one of those concepts thats hard to prove. However, I do believe we have human intuition and even that is a mind boggling subject if you dig deep.

    All the new age people (also some ancient wisdom) firmly believe in this universal intuition as well. They usually try to tie in Quantum Physics to disarm the logical mind. (see movies like What the Bleep do you know and The Secret)

    There are a lot of practical and powerful reasons for following your bliss despite not knowing the exact reason why it is so powerful. I guess that’s what matters most in an age where we have more questions than answers.

    It’s a great attitude to have, but I also take it with a grain of salt as well. I believe our intuition can lead us astray if not careful.

    Anyway, great post and I’m glad you are bringing it up. I hope more people are just even aware of this concept.

    Oh yeah… I think the biggest reason this is so powerful is that our society is soo repressed and controlled. We are continually brainwashed to do certain things like put up with crappy public schooling, get a corporate job, lose our rights to the government and so on. A lot of this benefits a very few at the top and is not fun for many smart people below. I guess this is why self help is such a big industry. There are some serious issues going on.

    Anyway, I’ve rambled on too many subjects. :)

  2. David said on October 30th, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    This is true. I have experienced it. But like you say elsewhere you may end up poor for awhile. You will still have struggles. But inside things will be clear. And that will give you the strength to move forward thru the difficult times.

  3. Rahul Bhambhani said on October 30th, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    @ Carl – I’ve heard all of the “quantum physics” justifications, and I don’t know what to think about that. At the basic level everything is energy, so the explanation seems valid. I don’t believe intuition can lead you astray if you can truly understand it. Sometimes we may wrongly classify a feeling we are having, and may act on it, only to find out later that it was the wrong decision. However, this can all fit under the belief that the universe is working for us behind the scenes, and it’s taking into account much more than we can understand. Therefore, our apparent “mistake” was actually a critical one in the grand scheme of things. It’s all about faith!

    @ David – Internal clarity is the most important thing, wouldn’t you agree? I believe the hard times are only temporary. Being broke is only temporary, being poor is forever. As long as we trust our intuition, we can have faith in knowing that all of the “bad” things in our life are there for a reason. Once again, a matter of faith.

    Thank you both for your comments :)

  4. John said on March 20th, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    Hi, I am thinking of dropping out of college as well. Do you suggest completing the rest of the semester?

    Also did your parents let you live in their house without getting a minimum wage job? Did they let you start this blog in their home full time?


  5. Rahul Bhambhani said on June 16th, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Hey John,

    Sorry for the long wait. I really think that’s a decision you’re going to have to make on your own. It truly depends on your reasons. If you believe you’ve got a good reason to withdraw, and you don’t think you’ll regret it, then I say go for it. Do your best right now to anticipate how your future will look in a few years, and see if dropping out of school will hinder your possibilities in any way. If you’re still confident you can create your dream future reality without school, then go for it man! Good luck!

  6. sarah said on October 2nd, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    I have to make a choice between two universities and two courses.
    the degree i really want to do is at a really horrible universisty and an ok degree is at an amazing university.
    i am trying to be logical and think of the rest of my life and how it will affect it, but people keep saying i am aiming too low.
    my stomach is in knots and im scared, and people keep looking down at me, even though im predicted high grades, the degree im thinking of doing is actually quite low.
    what should i do??

  7. Rahul Bhambhani said on October 15th, 2009 at 12:00 pm


    It takes a tremendous amount of courage to deviate from what you’re “expected” to do in life. Who defines what you’re “supposed” to do anyways? Where do we get these expectations? Of course from our parents, family, and friends. But what you need to realize is that at the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is yourself.

    This may get a little complicated, so try to stay with me. In our reality, everything is an expression of a level of consciousness. Violence is an expression of a low level of consciousness, while something like meditation can be representative of a higher level of consciousness. This is a very basic explanation of the concept.

    Our decisions also vibrate on the levels of consciousness. Decisions made from a place of guilt, anger, hatred, shame, or fear are of a low level of consciousness. Decisions made from a place of love, passion, and power are of a higher level of consciousness. To make the decision based in higher consciousness sometimes takes a lot of courage on our part because those around us are predominantly in a lower level of consciousness.

    Understand that your loved ones are simply projecting their deepest fears onto your situation, and are most likely (subconsciously) trying to pull you down. Realize which of your paths is on the higher level of consciousness, and understand that you MUST follow this path. You must find the courage within yourself to make this decision.

  8. keisha smith said on May 6th, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    thats a good thing what you wrote.because you do have to listen to your teacher parents in other adults at all time

  9. Fahtina said on August 21st, 2010 at 12:34 am

    I love this site…stumbled on it while feeling really down. It really helped me…Thanks.

  10. shruti said on October 1st, 2010 at 5:05 am

    I’m in a relationship with a guy for 8 months now, i’m in a great confusion whether to go ahead with this or no. Infact we were to be married however due to misunderstanding between the two families it was stopped, i thought of backing off but this guy sd he really loves me and was very caring, i love him too..but all my well wishers have always warned me not to go ahead…. i feel his moral values are very low. i’m not convinced with his family, i feel they are not hearty people and may cause trouble for us..i feel they are not good..they influence his thoughts and find him narrow minded…i know he loves me…and i love him too…i find him manipulative at times, abusive and doesnt respect my parents and wheni ask him he says its because of my family hurting him…but my question is why does he take out that frustration on me…i was so hurt i used to cry plead him not to be so harsh…i stopped talking to him , he broke down, i know that he is honestly attached to me….but when i was with him why dint he ever bother if i would behurt by his talks or no…now he says he’s really sorry abt his behaviour and he will make sure he changes…and needs me….i feel bad to hurt him…he has been caring and loving too…..i love him…i’ve been a strong person and advised many, but now from past few months i find myself only thinkin and weak….something has always stopped me from taking strong steps to go ahead with him…m confused is it my intuition or my negative thoughts influenced by my well wisher’s do i decide???

  11. shruti said on October 1st, 2010 at 5:25 am

    if he’s good, i don wan to lose him…sametime i don wan to be cheated.

  12. shruti said on October 1st, 2010 at 6:29 am

    he has done a lot for the marriage to happen, and somehow it never happened…

  13. Renz. said on October 28th, 2010 at 11:50 am

    helo everyone, i found this blog very interesting. im faced with a very big and difficult decision to make and time is limited. i recently applied for a visa to visit my sister in germany and i got turned down, i now have 24days to lodge an appeal to have the decision over turned, but i risk a chance of being denied. so either way i i take the risk or not? my intuition says if i dont i will never know! but people around me keep telling me to let go and move on with life.

  14. Rahul Bhambhani said on October 28th, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Renz – It sounds to me like you have nothing to lose by lodging an appeal. If you lodge an appeal and lose, does that mean you can never apply for a Visa again? On what grounds was your application rejected?

  15. Rahul Bhambhani said on October 28th, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    Shruti – Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I hope this message reaches you at the right time.

    It sounds to me like the man you’re in a relationship with has a lot of stress in his life in the form of anger. Anger can be dealt with in only 3 ways. It can either be suppressed, which will cause it to transform into depression. It can be unleashed at the world through aggression (this is what your boyfriend sounds like he is doing), or it can be expressed assertively by the person using the anger as an indicator of what he needs to work on about himself.

    In your boyfriend’s case it seems like he is releasing his anger through aggression, and you seem to be taking it from him willingly because you guys “love each other”. The problem with this is that it creates a destructive cycle. He takes his anger and dumps it into your personal boundary (because you have a hole in your boundary), and then it becomes YOUR problem (you are then totally responsible for it). You may take this anger that is now inside of you, and then choose to release it back on him, or on other people in your life through aggression. Or you may suppress it and slip into depression. The very fact that you are accepting this behavior from him is indicative that you have a hole in your “personal boundary” somewhere. Check out my article “Gain Respect in Relationships” for a more in-depth explanation of personal boundaries.

    I hope this helps!

  16. Rahul Bhambhani said on October 28th, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Fahtina – You are very welcome. I’m glad you like it.

  17. Julian said on November 18th, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    thank you for your writings they are truly helpful. I am unable to decide and i know now why…

  18. Sharaf said on March 2nd, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Hey Rahul, I came accross one of your blogs about making the right decision, and I think you can help me out here. Im a senior in high school, about to graduate in four months, I live in NY, and I have a big decision to make by the end of my last year. My mom’s immediate family all live in Florida, and for about a year now, they’ve wanted us to join them in FL. Between then and now, I’ve been going back and forth in my head about moving or not. Recently however, I stayed for about a week down there, and I got a feel of the life in FL. Im a bit tired of the fast life in NY and I feel like moving to FL will be a good enviornmental transition. So, I’ve set my mind on moving, however, there are some factors that are making me wonder if I am making the move for the right or wrong reasons. One, I want to pursue Pharmacy in College. Staying in NY would be a bit more beneficial because of the economy, but wherever I go, I can get to the point of getting my Pharmacy degree. Also, I already have a job at a pharmacy, and it would be good experience to work there while going to college, because of the carrer im pursuing. On the other hand, if I move to FL, I will have to get anew job and my expenses would be a little more than in NY. The second reason, and this one being the most troubling, is that there is a girl there that I have been talking to for about a year and a half now, and I have strong feelings about, her feelings being mutual. Considering this, I’m beginning to wonder if im moving for the wrong reason(the girl). Do you think im making a wrong decision by moving to FL ?/Do you think im moving for the wrong reason ?

  19. Rahul Bhambhani said on March 7th, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    Sharaf – Thanks for reaching out to me on this matter. I can’t say for sure if you’re moving for the wrong or right reason. Only you know the answer to that question. I recommend you take some time to cut yourself off from all the distractions of daily life and to meditate/reflect upon this decision. Just take a day away from everything and observe your internal state. By the end of the day you should have much more clarity on the right course of action for YOU.

    I understand that when it comes to tough decisions like this we have a tendency to seek the guidance of others. However, I’ve found that only when a person goes within and seeks his own guidance will he be at total peace with the decision he makes. There’s no wrong decision when you use this process. Everything is a learning opportunity. You just don’t want to relinquish the decision to the guidance of someone else and then look back with regret wondering what could have been if you would have thought on it yourself. Go within and find the answer that lies beneath all the turmoil of your mind.

    Let me know if you have any other questions.

  20. riya said on April 15th, 2011 at 3:51 am

    Hi Rahul,
    Wish I had seen this blog before my marriage.My marriage was an arranged one as most marriages in India are.Everything about it seemed fine and perfect.But somehow I did not feel good about it. I expressed my disinterest to almost everyone around me but could not give any sound reason. They asked me to go for it.They said one feels this way initially but eventually things get better.I kept saying to my brother and mother the way I felt till the last day.

    I could not get up from the bed on the day of my marriage.I felt drained..felt something terrible is going to happen.I felt pathetic.Most depressing time of my life…

    After marriage we came to know neither the family nor the guy was good.The family had a very bad reputation..they were money minded and a lot more..I walked out just 10 days after my marriage…very frightening experience.In India it is not easy for a married woman to stay without her husband..they say thousands of bad things about her and her family.Society is very cruel sometimes.

    Four months after all this I am yet to come out of it.There are times I want to give up…I don’t know if I will ever be able to pull myself up and face the world..all I learnt is the entire world could be wrong..there are so many noises inside us..among them there is this one voice guiding us in the right way..when emotionally clouded it may be difficult to recognise it.That is when as Rahul said we need to become still. ..I SHOULD HAVE FOLLOWED MY GUT INSTINCT..

  21. Rahul Bhambhani said on April 18th, 2011 at 12:43 am

    Riya – Thank you for sharing your story and posting your comment on this article.

    I’m sure you now know what the voice of your intuition sounds like and you’ll always follow it in the future. Sometimes it’s a hard lesson to learn. Your experience does sound extremely challenging to deal with, but I’m confident you will be okay. Make sure you learn everything you can from what you went through and become a better person because of it. I know it must be hard over there with all of the criticism and judgment you’re facing, but at the end of the day it is YOUR life and you have to answer to yourself. Congratulations to you for doing what was in your best interest. That takes a lot of courage and I admire you deeply for it.

  22. dianahb said on May 1st, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    Hi I have a dilemma I have been in community college for three years. I can transfer to a private school next year or wait another year to transfer. The private I like but Im not obsessed with and the school I want to go to I have to wait another year and take more classes. I like the private but its private and cost a lot of money. Im really torn between the two decisions I have to make.

  23. Rahul Bhambhani said on May 8th, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    Take some time to shut off all distractions in your reality and reflect on the decision. You will find the right answer for you.

  24. sandra said on May 30th, 2011 at 6:45 am

    Hi there i have had an offer about a house but not sure wether to move or not, if i do move i know everything i would be leaving but not sure if its worth it? i’m also scared as i wont now anyone and it will be even further away from everyone i do know but it also has its advatages being its closer to my work and a smaller apartment to afford. I have deadline to sign it over in approximatley 1 day i dont get any happinees in the home i’m in though and know that lady would proberly put it to good use for her kids etc. im stuck in a dilema can anyone help ? thanks if you can get back to me through e-mail that would be great–> thanks again. x

  25. Ria said on July 5th, 2011 at 1:00 am

    Hello! i liked what you said.. but right now i am rally struggling to make a decision. It’s about may Admission in University. I am very bad in maths. I have university Admission test knocking at my door. But I am struggling to choose between two Universities. One is the best and the other one is second best. The problem is i have a little chance to get chance in the Top university cause I suck at maths. But it’ll be easier for me to get chance in the second best university. But my heart is telling me to give it a shot and go for the harder one. Should i take the risk? Please reply

  26. Rahul Bhambhani said on July 12th, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    It sounds to me like you already know what you need to do, Ria. You just have to have the courage to take the shot that your heart is telling you is right for you. Thank you for reaching out to me. I hope this response finds you at the right time.

  27. Lilly said on August 21st, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    You seem clever in recognizing our sixth sense, intuition. I need your advice on how to stop my constant wrong turns I made in life. I am sure I can’t get back my lost times but I need to have a different and new mind set in order to make a better decision. I had a dream once but I can’t even have the luxury to day dream anymore. How can I retrieve my memory to get my childhood dream I had once? I felt like I have no luck in anything I can’t think of. Do you believe in luck?

  28. Lilly said on August 22nd, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Thanks for your suggestion to read the article on Carnival of Truth. I got some ideas of what to look in life. “The meaning of God” which is a fundamental question. Can we really define God?

  29. Nastia said on September 3rd, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Hi! I read your blog and you really inspired me, but I still dont know what to do. I’ve been doing tennis for nearly all my life, and I’ve been doing it like professionally, so like nearly everyday intense practices and so on. I’ve moved to Russia because of it, and i really miss America. My parents want me to continue doing it, so I can get into a good university, but I just don’t like doing it anymore. There had been too many days too count where I had wished for it rain, just so I wouldn’t go to practice. I really want to quit but I just can’t find the courage to tell them. I also feel guilty if I quit because we’ve put so much money time an effort into it. Most of the time here, I feel like I have no freedom because of it. I almost never hang out with my friends, because I have a tournament or a practice, and I can’t go home either (back to Canada) I know I should quit, but maybe you have some tips on how I can find courage to drop it? I would be great full if you replied.

  30. Rahul Bhambhani said on September 4th, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    Hey Nastia – I am honored you seek my opinion on this matter. To me, it sounds like you already know what you want to do, so all you need now is the courage to act on what you feel is right. This is what you’re looking for, and honestly, without knowing you personally, I do not know that there is anything I could say right now to REALLY motivate you to take inspired action.

    I will say that in order to make such a decision, you have to have a ton of faith and BELIEVE in yourself. If you KNOW that you are willing to do whatever it takes to succeed on your own terms, then you WILL succeed on your own terms. Commitment is key, and if you feel like you’re ready to pursue the life of your dreams unconditionally, I say go for it. If you have not yet arrived at that level of commitment, please hold off until you do. Once you make the decision to leave the path you’re currently on, your life will change drastically, and it’s important that you take some time to visualize all the ways your life will change as the result of that decision. Most people don’t do this, and I certainly didn’t when I made the decision to drop out of school, but it’s the way I make decisions now. By visualizing all of the implications, you will have more information to make a better decision.

    At the end of the day, however, you have to trust that at the center of your being you know what’s right for yourself. If your heart is saying to leave the path you’re on right now and pursue another (or do nothing for a while) you have to have the faith to listen to that and act on it.

  31. Rahul Bhambhani said on September 4th, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    Lilly – I do believe that “luck” is when preparation meets opportunity. There’s some of the Universe involved, and some of your own actions you take that combine for what we commonly know as “luck”.

    I will say that the constant “wrong” turns you are making in life might not be indicative of a lapse in your intuition. Instead, it is exactly what you need to experience right now. Instead of lamenting your current situation, take time to accept what IS and embrace the lessons that your current situation has to offer you. Learn everything you can and move forward from here. I know it’s easier said than done, but make every effort possible to reflect on the reality that you are being given EXACTLY what is most beneficial to the evolution of your consciousness right now.

  32. Annisha said on November 1st, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    this article really is interesting and intruging to read however it still has not lead me to my final decision.
    I am holding onto a decision that has started over 6 weeks ago and I am in the same situation as I was before. No where. My problem may sound pathetic but honestly I CANNOT genuinely decide and i am getting annoyed at myself as well as others are getting annoyed at me :/ Basically, I am taking a-levels at the moment and I am stuck whether on choosing to take art a level or french a level. Originally before taking a levels, we had to decide in advance on what a levels to do and I chose to do french and at the time i was taking both subjects at gcse. Everyone who knows me, especially people who have known me for a long time were quite shocked that i did not choose art and many people tried to persuade me, MASSIVELY persuade me but i didn’t want to take art because gcse was really fustrating and at the same time on deciding my a levels, i was finishing off my art course which was hectic as i had to produce a lot of work in absolute minimal time! I hated how art took over my life & i grew a strong dislike towards the subject and unfortunately it took its toll on my other studies causing me to be really behind on my revising for exams as well as completely killing my motivation to work.
    However when after my exams were finally over and I had 2 full months off, of no school, no work and i didn’t even go on a holiday, the idea of my gcse results and art were well away from my mind however once during the holidays i did produce an oil portrait painting which i found fun and satisfying as well as reading/keeping up to date with my most favourite thing, fashion. Also during my time off school, doing absolutely nothing which i enjoyed (as i quite prefer to be myself just relaxing), not once did i think about my a levels or even school. then when it came to results day i found that i was almost happy with my results although i do look at them and say i could have gain A*’s in all of them if it wasn’t for art. although a positive note from my results was that i gained full marks in my art gcse which was plesantly surprising! although with a little doubt i still stuck with french a level.
    I was enjoying my a levels for a while until i decided to do a fashion based enrichment [enrichment is like a personal extra study used to enchance your uni application] and once i got stuck into it, i found i was really enjoying it because i was drawing dresses and learning about the history of art and its social influences and i can honestly say i have never down anything more fun in my whole school life. at the same time i was starting to see that i was really struggling in my french a level as it is a hard subject even though i enjoy the lessons and therefore was starting to doubt whether i was going to get a good grade out of this as i am really less skilled in this area compared to my peers despite gaining an A at gcse.
    I am worried as I am now missing the one thing that i love and naturally talented at: art however i won’t take it as i fear that it will kill my other a level grades and my chances of going to a top uni however if i don’t take art now then i will never be able to gain a fashion/art ased career and i seriousy don’t see myself having a career in anything else as I am not really an academic person at all but all i know is that i want to travel in life. i have a passion for art yet i’m too scared to take it and i’m ridiculously behind all ready and doing it seriously in school just makes me pessimistic 24/7. However I keep messing my teachers about and its not fair on them neither me! I absoutely hate myself right now as i cannot decide on the love of god this is really annoying me!
    my inner gut says go for art, you’ll only regret it later if you dnt but i know that i am person who needs to take their time and therefore such a demanding subject like this could hinder my uni/career options when i’m older if i have an academic career (of god knows what??!?!?)
    It’s also hard as my mother, who was the only person to say to me originally not to take art a level as it would affect my other subjects is now suggesting me to take it and she said she feels that i will most likely regret it in the future. and i fear that she is right. btw i did not choose to take art because of her when originally deciding my alevels first time round, i just decided back then without much thought process at the time as i wa avoiding to think about art as i was hating it back then, but as they say ‘you dn’t really appreciate things until their gone.’
    So sorry for the essay but any ideas to help me decide, i am 4 weeks late with this damn decision. Thanks,

  33. Rahul Bhambhani said on November 23rd, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Annisha – I did not have the time to read this whole comment, however, I will say it comes down to this: You have to be willing to trust your gut and make a decision. I know a lot rides on your decision, but realize that no matter what decision you make, you will learn from it and you will gain valuable experience. You cannot lose, even though you perceive you can lose right now. Follow your intuition and you cannot make a wrong decision. Hope this helps.

  34. jagadish.m said on January 23rd, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Hi All,

    Please help i am looking for a great carrer in my work BPO but i am not able find the correct path how grow and very time i take any task i will be not able complete///example:When i am reading book i read two pages and suddendly go to other page with out reading completly ////beacuse of this i am not able to grab full knowledge ///so please help me any one//////from school days every one tells i have great talent and i am trend setter////but till today i did not any great thing i have achived

  35. Natalie Piper said on April 6th, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Hi Rahul. I have had a dilemma for nearly a year now that has eaten away at me and I have researched the Internet so much for any help assisting me with my decision and when I read this page it actually made me cry because it made so much sense.

    I’m in a total mess, I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 5.5 years and it’s had it’s ups and downs but in most ways we’re soul mates. However at year 2 he cheated on me but we worked through it and then at year 4.5 I cheated in him. The difference is he knew he made a mistake but for me it jolted me and made me think there may have been a reason for it. Around the same time I discovered my boyfriend was due to propose. I had waited so long for him to do it that it made me think it was no coincidence that it all happened at the same time-everything happens for a reason. I told him straightaway and we’ve been in this state of limbo for nearly a year. He is distraught and whereas he’s always been a little paranoid about me (which I’m devastated I have now proved him right about) he has gone through my phone , emails and constantly makes commemts to me which i do deserve but it doesnt stop and just makes me even more depressed and guilty. I feel very controlled, suffocated and suppressed in my relationship but I do love him so much. I’m so worried he’s become my best friend rather than my boyfriend and I’m scared that I’m making a decision out of guilt and my age (I’m 31 with no kids) and how much easier it is to stay with him rather than what’s right for me.

    I have absolutely driven myself mad with thinking and thinking and thinking and it is just impossible. We did break up recently because I felt it unfair to keep him hanging on while I decide what I want but I simply cannot make a decision and I’m terrified I will make it when it’s all too late. Any advice from an outside source is so appreciated.

    I love all the advice you have given, thankyou for writing this.

  36. Rahul said on April 6th, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Natalie – Hi, love :) Thank you for reaching out to me with this. I feel you… what you’re going through is really tough, I understand. The question I would ask you, and think you should take a really close look at is, what do you really want? Beyond what you think you should want, or what others tell you that you should want, or what you’ve been programmed to believe you do want – what do you REALLY want? Do you want to enjoy an amazing relationship with this man you are telling me about? Do you want to be with someone else who embodies something different? Do you want to be alone? Whatever you come up with, make sure it points at what you want and not at what you don’t want (e.g. I want to avoid fighting in our relationship, I want to avoid creating a relationship like that one ever again, I want a man who doesn’t cheat on me, etc.)

    If you can really penetrate through all of the mind-level stuff (conditioning), and into the depth of your Soul/Being and find what it is you really want, this will all become much simpler for you. Once you’re clear on what you really want, the next step will be to accept that you can create it for yourself (e.g. an amazing relationship with an amazing man who loves me exactly for who I am and I love him for exactly who he is). And once you’ve accepted what you really want and are willing to allow yourself to receive it, the next step is to live in alignment with it in every moment and commit to creating it for yourself and settling for nothing less (while still being open to something even better to come along!).

    I hope this makes sense. Much love.

  37. Nina said on April 21st, 2012 at 12:50 am

    Hello Rahul,

    I came across this page as I’m searching for materials on decision making.

    I’m 35 years old and has been tangling with my son’s father for the past ten years. I met him at work and started dating. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared, I was just out of college, not married no financial foundation. I asked him to get married he did not want to and did not really have a good discussion with me how we are going to handle this. I did not have the guts to face the judgments from my parents and family members. So I had an abortion. He was really really mad at me for the abortion, he left the job to anther company. I told him I was sorry and we could try again for another babies, he stop picking up my phone.

    We did not talk for few months, then he contact me and we started seeing each other again. Then I was pregnant. Second time around not only that he did not want to get married he was not there for me during the pregnancy.

    He confessed to me when our son was one year old that after the abortion this other woman was pregnant and wanted to get married and he agreed to it. That night my world crashed, I was so hurt I felt sick in my stomach. I scream at him why did not he tell me this much earlier. At the time I still live with my parents, I went home, could not tell them what had happen. I did not want them to be upset and worried about me. I cry at my desk at work and when I’m on the train. I was angry at him for not being honest with me and mostly angry at my self for letting this happen.

    But life have to move on and I had to do what is the best for my son and I. I filed for child support shortly after and be distanced myself from him. From time to time he claim he had to see his son and he would come knock on my door without notice. I stopped opening my door for him, I did not want to have anything to do with him.

    Slowly I pick myself up, start a life just my son and I which was fine until when our son turn four yeas old. I spoke with him, he was very sorry to make me upset, he was so angry at me for the abortion he lied to me that he was married with kids. He wants to be there for me and our son, he promised things will be better. I always want our son to grow up in a healthy family, mother, father and children. For our son, I gave him a chance, he wanted to have another child, with the guilt of the abortion I agreed.

    Shortly after I was pregnant he started acting up again, don’t pick up my phone and call back to me in a week or two. The day we took our second son home from hospital I demand him to be honest, he said he is really married and have two children. And he want our son to have a brother. I was so upset that I fated.

    Now he wants to help me with our kids and wants to move in with us. The true is that I really need his help especially with the newborn and a five year old, and I have a full time job. But I know I will go crazy if I allow him to live with us and allow myself to how feel STUPID I am. Keep making wrong turns, I cry to myself, I can not tell my family this. I hated myself because I kept making wrong decision. I will accept his help only with the kids, but the thing is that for example if he comes to see the kids at my home he will force me to have intimacy with him which I refuse to do. He believes I’m the mother of his children he has to come to see me.

    I realized that I’m the problem, too soft hearted, allowed him to be in and out of my life. My internal instinct tells enough is enough, it’s time to stop this nonsense, that I should cut him off from my life totally. He is not trust worthy. He would say anything I want to hear just to get what he wants. He hides things from me. He pulls me down. I don’t want my children to grow up seeing his father in and out of our life, and it is not acceptable. I remember the last time I laught so hard that my stomach hurts was ten years ago before I met him.

    But on the other hand I don’t want keep turning to my parents for help, I don’t want them to see their child getting hurt. I want them to be proud. I don’t even want to imagine the road ahead of me if I cut him from my life, it will be so difficult to be a single mother of two young children and a full time job. Part of me wants to take the easy way out.

    Your comment will be appreciated…thx

  38. C.A. said on May 2nd, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Rahul, I agree with you that we must tap into that higher power. True Christianity (not that religious stuff) teaches us that we are what we think, and that we can have the desires of our heart. Yehoshua HaMaschiach (Jesus Christ) taught that if we believe and do not doubt, whatever we ask in prayer, it shall be given us. We must find that quiet space to hear the small still voice that directs us. You call it “Universal Intuition,” but I call it the voice of GOD within us.

    Thanks for teaching!

  39. Rahul said on May 14th, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    C.A. – Thank you for dropping by and leaving a comment! Also, thank you for sharing about True Christianity. I feel that! Truth is Truth.

  40. tasmiya said on May 31st, 2012 at 9:38 am

    i always feel confused…its very hard to take right there any way that i take a right decision and dont regret it later??before doing anything i think twice..stil end up regretting,i dont know why am always sweet to everyone..and stil ppl end up thinking am very bad and al.most of the times am not expressive at al..i dont react sometimes…what should i do?

  41. tasmiya said on May 31st, 2012 at 9:47 am

    i also have problem with my relationship.i am in a relationship with a guy.we were friends..he asked me out.later i came to know he had 3 ex girlfriends.this is my first relationship.out of those 3 girls he was trying to set one of him ex with his friend.and i thought he is cheating on me.after that he promised she wil never come back in our life.2 yrs passed.recently she called him to get back.and my friend told that my boyfriend has asked out 2 girls in his college.when i asked my boyfriend he sweared on me and his parents that he wants to marry me only.should i trust him…??pls reply back soon

  42. Josh said on July 21st, 2012 at 7:54 am

    Hi I don’t know if anyone can help me , but I have some really big problems at the moment all self inflicted I know ….. but iam at a junction and I know what ever choice I make will have big effect on many peoples lives .
    Iam a 30 year old mine worker who travels approx 8 months a year, I have a wife who loves me more than I deserve and a 8 year old son . We have been together since I was 18 and in that time we have shared so many wonderful times and some really bad ones as well . We both come from big family’s with financial difficultys and addiction issues . She basically saved me from myself when we met . I was heavily into drugs from the age of 12 and was expelled from several schools before leaving at 14 and bassicly spending next nearly 5 years in street , she changed all that I started work changed crowd of friends and life got better . She fell pregnant with our son and had many complications he was born extremely premature and has many difficulties due to this . This has put tremendous strain on her over the years and through all this we managed to buy a couple houses and become what niether of us had ever been financially stable .
    The problem is I met a girl and I fell for her whilst working overseas , I broke up with my partner over the phone and went on my selfish way with this other girl who I formed a close relationship , she is from a very disadvantaged background and has had a rough trot but is really special person .
    My wife was devastated by the break up and wants to get back together even after I told her the complete story I don’t know why . She is not completely inocent she has drained all bank accs of large amounts of money and is holding my son as bargaining chip , but she’s just upset and I don’t blame her. While this might sound like easy decision it’s not for me whilst I don’t want to lose my family who I do love and want . I dont want to leave her either , both are completely aware of situation and I don’t know what to do , they both are in my heart and the overseas one will have to marry another man if I dont continue to see her . Her father is not my biggest fan we have fought physically i injured him for life because he has done some things to limit her options in life due to her insistence of staying with me.
    While I know iam the bad guy here I don’t know what to do to limit the pain already caused ….. I have been honest but that’s good for not much at the moment ……. Who’s life do I destroy if it was just me it would be alright but all other parties are innocent … PLEASE ANYONE COMMENT even just to tell me iam a dickhead, iam lost

  43. maddy said on August 7th, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Well here we go, I am a profound believer in the universe, thats how my current dilema began sitting on a mountain discussing life with a friend/lover. I went against my total instinct of self preservation and opened up by offering to help my friend by lending him money to save his business. It felt the right thing to do at the time. I am now back home in another country and am facing so much aingst although when I call out to the universe it tells me to have faith. I havent asked for it back until April next year so does this mean I will struggle until the truth is known ? I am trying hard not to panic that I have been taken advantage of. The strange thing is that my friend got ripped off for the same ammount days earlier by someone else and somehow this felt like ying and yang to me. Am I completely mad or should I have faith and how do I hold on to that ? Yours forever cautious but open x

  44. AASHISH said on September 16th, 2012 at 10:12 am

    i am very much confused, i studied at my hometown till +2, now i am studying in one of the best college of India, which is very far from my home. I did thorough study at my hometown, here i am unable to do thorough study as the busy schedule doesn’t allows me. My aim is to qualify for civil services, i am thinking to carry my further studies at my hometown, so that i would be able to study well.
    But the problem is, now i am thinking that the window of opportunity that i would be getting in this college would not be in any other college.
    please help me to choose what is right for me…

  45. said on January 5th, 2013 at 2:57 am

    My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find many
    of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers
    to write content for yourself? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome blog!

  46. ali said on February 18th, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    I am writing regarding the business decision.
    First believe in yourself, no matter what, if you have taken any decision regarding business(your decision not others) stick to it. Even if you think its not working , stick to it because its your conscious decision and you may be doing something wrong .Try to figure out what’s right for that business and try different option. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND WORK HARD TO ACHIVE WHAT YOU THOUGHT FOR. AND YES PLEASE DON’T THINK WHATEVER YOU THOUGHT WILL BE PIECE OF CAKE.
    Show me anyone who started with business and got success right away?

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Who's behind this blog?

Welcome to Take 20 – a Blog exposing readers to unique personal development concepts and ideas. Hi. My name is Rahul Bhambhani. I was previously a student in the Business Honors Program at The University of Texas at Austin. Somewhere in the midst of my education, I began to question whether it was contributing to […]

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