Take 20
Personal Development Advice, Tools to Improve The Quality Of Your Life

Do you struggle with setting goals, and actually reaching them?

Time and time again you set lofty goals for yourself, only to watch yourself get off track over and over again.

You went on vacation, and there weren’t any healthy meal options available. You took that opportunity to end the torture you were putting yourself through, and stuffed your face with all of the fatty foods you could get your paws on.

Bye-bye new diet!

You were waking up at 6AM for a week straight; until you realized it would require the sacrifice of those late night hang out sessions with your friends to keep it up.

Sayonara sunrise!

You’ve tried and tried over and over again to reach your goals, but for some reason you keep getting distracted along the way.

Well, you can kiss those days goodbye! I present you with the solution to all your goal setting woes.

Focus on how the goal you’ve set improves your life in the present moment, rather than focusing on the hard work and suffering it will take for you to reach it in the future.

Tah dah! It’s really that simple.

How it Changed My Life

Prior to this shift in perspective, I struggled with goal-setting for a long, long time. I had so many challenging changes I wanted to make to my life. But every time I set goals that would help me implement these changes, I would eventually get distracted and fall off track.

I tried writing my goals down and reading them to myself every morning. I tried making my goals measurable and attainable. I used up my entire tank of self-discipline and motivation on the pursuit of reaching my lofty goals.

I still failed over and over again.

I was beginning to think the whole goal-setting process wasn’t for me, when I luckily happened to stumble upon the perspective of “focus on how a goal improves the quality of your present moment” while reading Steve Pavlina’s wonderful new book.

For the longest time I had wanted to create a daily routine that facilitated my productivity throughout the day.

For the longest time I had wanted to hit the gym every morning and do at least 30 minutes of cardio, so I could work my way down to 8% body fat.

For the longest time I had wanted to get back to writing high quality articles for this site, so I could make progress towards creating the career of my dreams.

This new perspective has allowed me to start moving in the direction necessary to reach each of these goals, and I know I’ll reach them this time. My mind is zoned in on how each one improves the quality of my life right now, so there’s no more mental struggle involved. I no longer adopt goals that cause me pain and suffering in the present moment because, well, what’s the point in subjecting myself to such torture in the first place?

No Improvement? Drop it!

This is one of the most important points of this perspective. Stop adopting goals that cause you pain and suffering in the present moment. Instead, adopt goals that improve the quality of your present moment. Sometimes you don’t have to change your goals at all to make this happen. All that may be required is a simple shift in focus.

For example, I used to dread going to the gym every morning and working out because I was always focused on how long it would take me to reach my goal of slimming down to 8% body fat. I was always looking to the future for salvation, while I viewed the present moment as a form of torture. Eventually it required way too much self-discipline for me to keep up my routine, and I gave up.

After applying the new perspective, however, I now focus on how productive and healthy I feel during and after my workout. I know that whenever I decide to head to the gym for some early morning cardio, I will receive immediate benefits. Why wouldn’t I want to hit the gym every morning when I feel this way?

Here’s another example. I used to feel like writing articles for this site was a drag because I was so focused on when I was going to make enough money to support myself with the site’s income. The results didn’t come as soon as I expected, and it wasn’t long before I gave up.

After applying the new perspective, however, I now focus on the awesome feeling I get knowing I’m progressively creating the career of my dreams by writing these articles. I also focus on the amazing feeling I get knowing I’m providing substantial value to my readers. Why wouldn’t I want to write articles for this site when I feel this way?

Examine Your Goals

Write down a list of the goals you want to reach in the next 3 months. While doing so, focus on how each one improves the quality of your present moment.

Does the goal motivate you? Does it inspire you? Does it excite you? Does it make you feel more productive? If you can’t find a reasonable answer to how it improves the quality of your present moment, drop it.

If you already have a list of goals written down somewhere, apply this perspective to each goal on your list. Cross out the goals you feel don’t improve the quality of your present moment, and replace them with new ones that do.

Remember, sometimes all it takes to move a goal from the “torture” column to the “improvement” column is a simple shift of perspective. Can you focus on the aspect of the goal that improves the quality of your present moment, rather than focusing on the aspect that makes it feel like a grind? If this tactic doesn’t work, then obviously you must drop the goal.

Don’t Make it Harder Than it Should Be

Forget about making goals measurable and attainable. Forget about reciting your goals to yourself every morning. Forget about applying and expending tremendous amounts of self-discipline and willpower in the process of reaching your goals.

None of this is necessary.

Choose to focus on how the goals you set improve the quality of your present moment, and you’ll never find it difficult again to stay on track to reaching these goals. There’s nothing we human beings love more than instant gratification, and what better way to give that to yourself day in and day out than to apply this perspective to the pursuit of reaching your goals?

Don’t make reaching your goals harder than it should be. It really is this simple.

Photo by notsogoodphotography

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Mental energy is such a precious resource.

It can be used intelligently, and devoted to the process of creating the life of your dreams. Or it can leak away and be wasted while your mind secretly dwells on the demons of your past.

The problem is that until you dispel the demons of your past, a substantial portion of your mental energy will be allocated to them. As a result, you may only have access to only 50 percent of your usable mental energy, instead of the full 100 percent.

Wouldn’t you rather allocate your mental energy as you please, and use it towards completing more important tasks such as, oh I don’t know, writing that book you’ve wanted to get started for the past few years, acing that class you’ve been struggling with the entire semester, or tackling <insert daunting and spectacular project here>?

Answered yes? Keep reading.

My Biggest Demon

In the second grade, about 15 years ago, I decided one Monday that I didn’t feel like being in class for the remainder of the day, so I would devise an intricate plan to get my mom to come and pick me up from school. I told my teacher that I was feeling sick and asked her if I could go to the restroom with the most authentic “sick” face I could possibly muster up. She graciously granted my request.

When I finally got to the restroom, I waited around for a few minutes, washed my hands, and returned explaining to my teacher that I had just spent the last five minutes puking my guts out, and that I had to go home. To top it off, I figured I would be extra tricky and tell her I had been throwing up the last few days at home also, just so she felt extra sorry for me and so that my lie made even more sense.

My mom was there in no time to pick me up, and had a look of confusion on her face when she arrived. In front of my teacher, she asked me how I was perfectly fine that morning, and how I managed to start throwing up just a few hours later. My teacher interjected and asked my mom about me being sick the past few days. My mom told her that she had no idea what I was talking about, and that there must have been a misunderstanding.

There was no misunderstanding. I had definitely lied through my teeth no more than 20 minutes ago.

I walked out of the classroom holding my mom’s hand while looking back at my teacher, and make no mistake about it, she was glaring at me. I flashed a devious smile her way, and was mentally preparing to celebrate my victory over a fun game of Super Mario Brothers.

Round 1 goes to Rahul!

Little did I know, my teacher was determined to win Round 2 and the rest of the subsequent rounds the very next day. I should’ve known better than to get involved in a battle of wits with such a vindictive woman. I would soon find out she didn’t care if I was a 3 foot tall second grader, or a 6 foot tall teacher like her. She would have the final say on this matter.

When I arrived at class the next day sporting an “I’m all better now” look on my face, everything went like it always did; nothing was out of the ordinary. However, as soon as the class settled down, something strange happened. My teacher exclaimed that she had an announcement to make. She called me up to the front of the class.

She wouldn’t dare!

Standing right next to me, she put her hand on my shoulder and announced to the class that I was a liar, and that I shouldn’t be trusted because of what I did the day before. Immediately everyone started chanting LIAR, LIAR! I busted into tears, searching for sympathy and consolation from my classmates. There was none to be had.

It was the most humiliating moment of my entire life, and at the time I felt incredibly angry and embarrassed. I was wondering how a woman as old as her could do something like this to a kid as young as me. I thought adults were supposed to be compassionate and mature, not vindictive and retaliatory. What was she trying to prove by humiliating me in front of the whole class?

For the rest of the year my nickname was “The Liar”, and none of my friends ever really trusted me again. Fortunately for me, my family moved the next year and I transferred to a new school.

Everyone Has Their Share of Demons

This experience hardly seems like a “demon” to me now, but when it actually happened 15 years ago it was a huge deal to me. Rather than facing and dealing with this experience emotionally when I was 7 years old, my mind has slowly absorbed and filed away the pain associated with it over time. This doesn’t mean the memory ceases to exist in my mind, and it doesn’t mean the negative energy associated with it has dissipated on its own as I’ve grown older.

We all have disagreeable things happen to us at all stages of our lives, and many times we are unprepared to deal with the wave of emotions we feel when these things happen. The mind has developed a coping mechanism to deal with such experiences to ensure mental and emotional stability in the future.

Given this truth, everyone should give the exercise outlined in this article a fair chance. Empty your mind of any preconceived notions or beliefs you may have for a short amount of time while you give the exercise a try.  Don’t attempt to intellectualize the process, just dive right in and see if it works for you.

Objectify Your Demons

Disclaimer: If you decide to complete the exercise outlined below, take note that it can be a highly emotional process.  If you do plan on completing the exercise, please make sure you are in the appropriate state of mind to deal with the “demons” of your past. If you find that you aren’t in the right state of mind, come back later and do the exercise when you feel more prepared to do so. If necessary, seek the help of a trained mental health professional or spiritual guru to guide you along with the process. This is a very serious process and it should be treated as such.

As long as the demons of your past stay filed away in the depths of your subconscious mind they will continue to wreak havoc on your supply of mental energy. You must learn to objectify your demons, and bring them to the surface of your consciousness. Once you’ve managed to do this, you must befriend these demons, neutralize their parasitic effect on your mind, and then neatly file them away in your mind’s database of memories.

Here’s how you do it.

Exercise: A Trip Down Memory Lane

Lie down or sit somewhere you can get comfortable and relax your entire body. Close your eyes and allow your mind to wander for a minute or so.

Now, rewind through your memory, and pull up the most painful memory in your past that you can find into your mental movie theater. Preferably, it should be an element of your past you haven’t come to terms with yet. If you don’t have the courage to face such a painful memory just yet, choose one that isn’t quite as painful for now.

Once you’ve pulled the memory up, attempt to relive it to the best of your ability. Absorb yourself in the memory; let it play out exactly as it did when it actually happened. If you can’t remember all of the small details, remember whatever you can and stay focused on reliving the memory as accurately as possible.

Notice anything peculiar? Are you feeling some of the emotions and sensations you experienced when the actual event took place? Maybe you’re feeling an equally powerful sensation or emotion as you did when the original event took place. Allow yourself to fully experience this emotional feedback. Decide that you’re not going to run away from it any longer. Understand that as long as you run from this memory, it will have power over you and will continue to sap you of your precious mental energy.

The emotions and sensations you are experiencing are in reality a tied up supply of mental energy. The stronger the emotional feedback, the more tied up mental energy the memory contains. The key to regaining this mental energy is to negate the emotional charge associated with the painful memory. The way to do this is by repeatedly exposing yourself to it.

Now that you’ve run through the memory once, run through it again. And then run through it again and again and again. What you’ll start to find is that the charge associated with the memory slowly begins to diminish, until it eventually disappears entirely.

Relief

When I relived my most painful memory for the first time, it stung almost as painfully as when it actually happened 15 years ago. Feelings of anger, embarrassment, and humiliation immediately resurfaced. It was fascinating to observe how something that happened so long ago still had such a deep effect on me.

After neutralizing the charge of the memory by running through it many times, I felt incredibly relieved. It was like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders, and I was free to move around again as I pleased. I quickly figured out that if I were to continue applying this process to all of the memories in my past with a charge, no matter how small the charge, I would free up a considerable amount of mental energy in no time.

I’ve been using this process for over a year now, and let me tell you, it’s made a HUGE difference in my life. I now have more mental energy at my disposal to delegate to important tasks. Emotionally, I’m more stable. My focus has enhanced considerably. I’m more productive and things get done faster and more efficiently than ever before.

Don’t Just Sit There, Give It a Try

Regaining conscious control over the allocation of your mental energy is not the easiest of processes, but trust me, it’s definitely one of the most rewarding processes you can commit to. There will be a night and day difference between your productive capacities before and after going through this much needed tune-up.

Afterwards, you’ll notice life flows better than it used to, because you will be able to concentrate a larger portion of your mental energy towards your most important tasks. For example, these words simply flow out of my fingers without much conscious thought, while prior to going through the tune-up process myself, these articles were much more tedious for me to write (which was half of the reason I gave up a year ago).

Of course, after completing the process numerous times you’ll occasionally identify a demon of your past you happened to overlook the first few times around. But when that time comes you’ll be prepared to deal with the demon consciously and come to terms with it, no longer allowing it eat up your precious mental energy. It’s an ongoing purification process, and as you face and neutralize more and more demons of your past, you’ll gain greater access to your usable mental energy. You’ll finally have the ability to allocate it as you see fit.

Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? Now get in that movie theater, and start watching some of your old personal faves and make it happen! :)

Please do share your experiences after completing the exercise outlined above. I’m very interested to see how it may have helped you, and what benefits you experienced after freeing up some of your mental energy. Plus, others will get to see that I’m not the only quack this process has worked for.

Stay tuned for Part 2, which I will post in the near future. The article will be on how to free up mental energy by addressing areas of stress in your life. While this article deals with demons of the past, the next article will focus on the demons of the present and how to identify and face them courageously.

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