Accept Responsibility for Your Results
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“A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.”
- James Allen
The above statement is a truth most people realize later than sooner, and sometimes never at all.
These powerless people spend their whole life looking to someone else to give them direction, handle their problems, and assure them everything will be okay and work out the way it’s supposed to.
But for some reason, their desired results never manifest in reality. Sure enough, after it’s too late these poor souls come to realize they squandered their chance to live the life of their dreams simply because they refused to accept total responsibility for their results.
Be completely honest with yourself when you answer the following question.
Are you one of these people?
- Do you believe that in miraculous fashion, the results you desire will appear out of thin air without putting your nose to the ground and consciously creating them yourself?
- Do you constantly turn the other cheek when faced with an important task or area of your life requiring urgent attention and think to yourself I’ll get to it later, it’ll be okay until then?
- Do you attempt to delegate your responsibility to someone else by constantly blaming others for your persistent mediocrity and failures?
How the hell am I so good at diagnosing the symptoms of a classic case of Relinquished Responsibility Syndrome (RRS)?
Because up until recently, I suffered from a case of the same syndrome myself!
How I Came to the Realization
About a month ago, as I was reading Steve Pavlina’s brilliant book
I began to investigate the cause of my less than spectacular results, and after much deliberation I finally ran head first into the source of all of my problems.
Subconsciously I believed my parents would always make sure everything would be alright, and that they would take care of me and accept responsibility for the areas of my life I chose to turn away from.
No! This couldn’t be. Here I was thinking that for the last 21 years of my life I was the master and commander of my ship, while in reality I was subconsciously sabotaging my results by relinquishing my responsibility to my parents the whole time.
So THAT’S what my Dad has been babbling on about for the last three years. Oooooooh!
As soon as I realized this truth, no other action was required on my part. It was an absolutely HUGE insight that had an immediate and drastic effect on the way I looked at my life.
- No longer did I look to my parents to tell me what needed to be done.
- No longer did I turn the other cheek to the ugly reality of my situation, thinking it would all sort itself out in time.
- No longer did I wait around for the results I desired to manifest in my reality.
I immediately started taking action. I put my nose to the ground and started 30 day trials for new habits I wished to form. I changed my career back to one centered in purpose, passion, and contribution. I created a new daily routine that facilitated my productivity on a day-to-day basis. I made an active effort to ensure the relationships in my life were empowering and of high quality.
I realized that no one else has to live with the results in my life except for me. I can complain to people until their ears fall off, but at the end of the day they can leave my life behind and go back to wherever they came from. I don’t have that luxury.
Neither do you.
Taking Back Control of Your Results
Take a moment to look around and investigate the state of your reality.
Are you proactively creating the life of your dreams by consciously accepting complete responsibility for your results?
If your answer to the above question is yes, but for some reason the results haven’t shown up yet, then ask yourself:
Five, ten, or twenty years down the line will the path that I’m on right now lead me to a life filled with the results I desire?
If the answer to this question is no, then it’s time to do a self-diagnosis for Relinquished Responsibility Syndrome. If you skipped it the first time around, scroll back up to the bulleted and bolded questions at the beginning of the article and answer each one as honestly as you possibly can.
If after answering these questions you come to realize that you haven’t been accepting responsibility for your results up until now, then you should be feeling the immediate need to take action and change things up. If you don’t feel a sense of urgency, and you aren’t instantly able to see the connection between responsibility and results, nothing has changed and you haven’t deeply realized the truth of your situation.
Keep exploring the source of your Relinquished Responsibility Syndrome until you find the answer that gives you an AH HA! moment. It should make you want to get off your ass and start fixing your life right away.
Remember, no one else has to live with the results in your life except for you. Accept this truth, and you will find that manifesting the results you desire is much easier. No longer will you constantly sabotage your efforts by relinquishing responsibility for your results to someone else. That brings us back to Mr. James Allen and his words of infinite wisdom.
Sooner or later you will realize that you are the master-gardener of your soul, the director of your life.
Let’s make it sooner rather than later.
Photo by mikebaird
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Making the Most of Your School Education
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A formal school education can be a powerful tool if used properly. If its purpose is not kept in perspective, however, the time and energy you invest in your school education will almost certainly go to waste.
Go to waste? What the hell do you mean Rahul by go to waste? You’ll walk out of university with a degree regardless of if you make the most of your education or not, so the time and energy you invested won’t be a complete waste, right? At least you’ve got that piece of paper and you’ll be able to get a job somewhere, no?
What happens when you walk out of school and suddenly realize the education you just completed has nothing to do with what you’re really interested in, and now you have to get a job doing something you don’t give a damn about?
I’m Wasting My Time!
Uh oh, you’ve actually spent the last 4 years in school digging a hole for yourself, and now you’re buried. I guess that energy and time you invested didn’t go to waste after all!
Hello 9 to 5 job doing work that means nothing to you!
Greetings feelings of boredom, purposelessness, stress, anxiety, and despair!
Aloha life of misery and thoughts of suicide!
Okay, maybe I went a bit too far on that last one. But you get my point.
Mindlessly coasting through your education without paying proper respect to the importance it plays in determining your future is a recipe for certain disaster.
All of this could have been avoided if you had taken the time to do some future planning. By understanding how your school education fits into the grand scheme of the contribution you want to make for the rest of your life, you gain the ability to make the most out of your education and save yourself from the disaster situation described above.
How exactly do you reach this level of understanding?
School is a Feeder System
First, let’s take a moment to dispel any confusion there may be about what the schooling system is designed to accomplish. By doing this, we shed light on how the process actually works, and are able to use this new found clarity to our advantage. To do that, we’ll have to begin by working backwards; starting with the demands of the society we live in.
The schooling system is in place to endow students with the skills necessary to answer a number of society’s specific demands. People need doctors, so the subject of medicine is taught in medical schools. People demand the latest technology, so engineering is taught at universities around the world. People demand legal assistance, so there are law schools set up to teach students how to interpret the law.
Understanding this concept, you must ask yourself, “Which of society’s demands do I wish to address and fulfill?” Rather than swinging in the dark and guessing randomly at what your answer to this question may be, I suggest you take the approach of beginning with the end in mind instead. Meaning, you have to know where you’re going before you can decide how you’re going to get there.
Time for an exercise!
Exercise #1: Begin with the End in Mind
Open a blank word document or take out a blank sheet of paper, and on the top of the page write “What do I want to have?“ Write down everything you want to have, including material, emotional, spiritual, and mental possessions. For example, on my list I have financial freedom as one of the things I’d like to have, and then the very next item on my list is a Porsche Carerra GT (I love cars). Don’t be shy, dream as big as you’d like!
Next, write “What do I have to do to have what I want to have?” This one’s pretty self explanatory. On my list I have provide a significant amount of value to society and create a product or service that makes life easier for people. I figure by providing a significant amount of value to society I will be rewarded financially, amongst many other things, and goals like financial freedom or a Porsche Carerra GT won’t be too hard to obtain. And by creating a product or service that makes life easier for people, I should be able to provide a significant amount of value to society. What’s on your list? Get as specific as you possibly can.
Finally, write “Who do I have to be to do what I want to do?” This one’s a bit trickier because we’re dealing with aspects of personality and character, and they’re harder to connect with tangibles like things we want to do or have. Buckle down and really focus on identifying all of the characteristics you will have to develop to actually accomplish what you want to do. Try not to leave anything out. On my list I have unconditionally loving and service oriented as two of the characteristics I will have to constantly work on and develop to make possible what I want to do.
Assuming you committed to answering the questions in this exercise to the best of your abilities, you should have a pretty clear idea of the direction you want to take your life simply by looking over your list. You now know all of the things that have personal value to you. Whether or not anyone else values the same things you do is irrelevant, all that matters is that you value what’s on your list.
The key is being able to find the area overlap between your personal values and society’s values. This way you’re leading your life in the direction you want to take it, while also providing something of significant value to society. The next exercise is designed to help you find this area overlap.
Exercise #2: The Critical Four
Yes, I know this is a lot of work, but I assure you the amount of effort required is justified when you see the results. Open a new blank word document, or pull out a clean sheet of paper, and type/write these four questions:
- What must I do? (things you must do to address your needs)
- What can I do? (things you are capable of doing given your mental abilities, physical abilities, etc)
- What do I want to do? (things you love to do)
- What should I do? (things your conscience or moral compass tell you to do, things which serve the greater good)
Write down as many answers as you possibly can to these four questions, then go back and highlight any answers that showed up in all four areas simultaneously (it doesn’t have to be the exact same answer word for word, but it should be pretty darn similar). This is the answer that fulfills your needs, makes use of your talents and gifts, stirs your soul with excitement, and makes a meaningful contribution to society.
If at first you don’t have an answer that appears in all four areas, work harder to find one that does. Don’t give up, because once you find the answer that meets all four of the criteria you will gain immense clarity on what you should be doing with your life.
Evaluating Your Situation
Now that we’ve completed both exercises, you should have a new found clarity about which direction you want to take your life because you’re beginning with the end in mind, and what you want to be doing with your life because you’ve found the overlapping answer to the four questions listed above. As a result, you’re finally ready to ask yourself the two most important questions yet, the ones that tie this whole shebang together.
- Does my school education contribute to the overall direction I wish to take my life?
- Is my school education preparing me to do something that fulfills my needs, makes use of my talents and gifts, stirs my soul with excitement, and makes a meaningful contribution to society?
If the answer to both questions is a resounding yes, then you know you’re on the right path and that you’re using your school education as the tool it’s meant to be. Consequently, you have the answer to which of society’s demands you want to address and fulfill.
If the answer to either question is even the slightest no, then you’re approaching school with the wrong perspective, and you need to make some changes. Perhaps you’re only using school as a tool to help address your needs, while ignoring the other three criteria. Maybe you’re in an area of concentration that doesn’t contribute to who you want to be or what you want to do later on. Remember, this is your future we’re discussing here, and settling even in the slightest bit when it comes to getting the most out of your school education is enough to guarantee dissatisfaction later in life. Refuse to settle for anything less than a resounding yes to both questions.
If you’ve found after all of this work and introspection that school may not be for you, and that you’re only going through the motions because your parents told you to do so, or because society told you to do so, don’t worry. I have a ton of experience in that area considering I realized the same thing a year ago! 
An upcoming article will address what you can do when you come to the conclusion that school isn’t for you, and how to blaze your own trail while also addressing some of the less mainstream demands of society.
Photo by pinksherbet
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