Take 20
Personal Development Advice, Tools to Improve The Quality Of Your Life

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

- John F. Kennedy

Would you consider yourself to be a truly grateful person?

Are you a rare person that appreciates everything (good or bad) in your life, and takes no moment for granted?

If so, you can stop reading now. If not (the majority of us), please continue reading.

Focus on What You DO Have

Each day we awaken to a world of infinite possibility. We can spend our days any way we please, and we take full advantage of this right. We indulge by eating wonderful food, driving luxurious cars (if you don’t think your 1996 Corolla is luxurious, compare it to what the rest of the world drives), spending time with our loved ones, and engaging in many entertaining activities each day.

But somewhere along the line we began taking this right for granted. As a result, we’ve stopped smelling the roses along the way of our journey through life. I can’t count the number of times I’ve come across someone who has so many things in their life to be grateful for, but instead, he or she focuses on the things he or she does not have in his or her life.

When we begin to focus on the things we don’t have, we lose sight of all the gifts we have been blessed with. Our ingratitude then transforms itself into greed, lust, or even worse, misery.

My Experience

Gratitude is a value I’ve been struggling to incorporate into my life for a long time now. At times, I’ve been reckless with my behavior, and have had no consideration for anything in my environment. I lacked appreciation for all that I was blessed with, and my actions overwhelmingly showed it. Perhaps this is a phase everyone passes through growing up, but I believe I’ve had it worse than most.

I’ve come a long way over the past two years. I can attribute part of this growth to the natural maturation process. However, just as much of this growth is a result of my adoption of new paradigms. Consequently, I’ve started viewing gratitude as a way of life, rather than as something to be focused on momentarily. This perception has drastically improved the quality of my life on a day-to-day basis. Each day is a joyous occasion, regardless of if something horrible happens, or it’s the most fortunate day of my life.

Although it took me over two years to reach this point in my development, it certainly won’t take you as long. Commit to taking a few simple actions each day, and gratitude will become a way of life for you too.

Surface-level Gratitude

Most human beings view gratitude as a momentary interruption in their thought process.

Before we sleep, we thank God for all of the good things we have in our life. Often times we complement this thanks with a request for more “stuff”. If we are truly grateful for what we already have, why the hell are we asking for even more things?

Other times, it occurs to us that we’re being so ungrateful, that we have no choice but to remind ourselves to be grateful. We realize that we were wrong in taking things for granted, and we proclaim confidently that we’ll never let it happen again. The next day, to our dismay, we’re back at square one, taking things for granted like never before! I’ve gone through this process a countless number of times.

In both examples above, we’re paying attention to something called “surface-level gratitude.” We are attempting to be grateful for specific things (material and beyond) in our life (money, relationships, success). If we were to translate this type of gratitude into words, it would look something like this:

• I am grateful for my relationships
• I am grateful for my health
• I am grateful for my success
• I am grateful for my income
• I am grateful for food and shelter

When we forget to be grateful, these are the affirmations we recite to ourselves. This makes us feel better temporarily, and deludes us into thinking we’re being truly grateful. Life goes on, and so does this circular thought process.

There is absolutely no true fulfillment to be obtained by viewing gratitude with this perspective. In order to experience true gratitude, we must carry it permanently with us everywhere we go.

Gratitude must become a way of life.

A New Way of Life

All of us have so many things to be grateful for. It doesn’t matter if you’re tremendously successful, or if you’re miserably poor. There are certain things we as human beings share in common at a basic level. When we are grateful for these fundamental gifts, we experience a much deeper level of gratitude, “true gratitude”. If we learn to get in touch with it, each and every one of us can experience a more joyous, fulfilling, appreciative life.

Be grateful for the following:

• All of us have been given the gift of life
• All of us have been given the gift of nature
• All of us have been given the gift of the mind
• All of us have been given the gift of a wondrous, supportive universe

Once we internalize these truths, we can then experience a gratitude for existence itself. Everywhere we go, we will carry this gratitude with us. Each day we will wake up feeling grateful for the day ahead of us, regardless of our present circumstances.

If we truly appreciate the gift of life, for example, anything that comes our way will be viewed as a joyous experience. The next time someone treats us the wrong way, we will be grateful for the experience. The next time we are feeling sad, we will be grateful for the experience. The next time we feel tremendously successful, we will be grateful for the experience. Good or bad, we will understand that all experiences are a byproduct of life itself, and that they all contribute to our overall experience of this life.

Making the Transition

To shift our paradigm from one of “surface-level gratitude” to one of “true gratitude” we must learn to express gratitude for everything in our reality. The best way to do this is to focus your gratitude on things that you would never thought you would be grateful for. For example, if I’m taking a shower, I will say to myself, “I am grateful for the shiny metal on the shower head.”

Whenever something overwhelmingly negative is happening in your life, take a step back, and be grateful for it. Not only because it is an experience that will undoubtedly contribute to your growth, but also because it is another one of those byproducts of life itself.

Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous. However, if you do this often enough, soon what you’ll find is that you’ll no longer be saying, “I’m grateful for x.” Instead, you will simply say “I’m grateful.” The gratitude you are feeling every day by focusing your attention on seemingly unimportant things will carry over to all areas of your life. It will slowly become a permanent, all encompassing expression of being.

Do Not Utter Words, Live By Them

Making the shift to “true gratitude” is by far one of the most empowering paradigm shifts I’ve made in my lifetime. Although I know I haven’t completed the transition process completely yet, the progress I have made thus far has contributed to an enhanced experience of life itself.

Each day is joyous. Each day is a gift.

Commit to focusing your gratitude on anything and everything in your reality, and you will soon find that this gratitude has become a permanent state of being. You will no longer feel grateful, you will be grateful. You will no longer utter words of gratitude to yourself; you will live by them, as JFK once said. And in doing so, your life will be full of joy, fulfillment, and appreciation.

Photo by gwaar

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“There is only one success, to be able to spend your life in your own way.”

- Christopher Morle

As a citizen of the United States, you’re expected to know all about freedom. It is the term that defines this nation. It is what sets us apart from all of the rest. We are taught America is the land of opportunity. If we have a dream, America is the place to make it happen.

While we may have access to more opportunity living in the USA than anywhere else in the world, we still don’t experience our freedom completely.

Why not?

Because as a society, we are taught to seek comfort and security. For example:

• We are taught the only realistic way to financially support our families is to get a job, be a good employee, and climb the corporate ladder to higher paygrades
• We are expected to go to school in hopes of one day being able to find a good job, and make a lot of money
• We are told that we need to invest in retirement funds, just in case we are unproductive in our old age, and require support
• We are constantly reminded by staggering poverty numbers that success is not guaranteed

How are we supposed to spend our life in our own way if we are taught to adhere to the notions above?

We won’t be able to.

Instead, we will constantly seek security and comfort so we can financially support ourselves and our families, just so we don’t end up homeless and broke on the street. In making this choice, we are choosing to give up all of the freedom life has to offer.

Freedom Is a Choice

I read an interesting article my father sent me via e-mail today. It was about a 33 year old millionaire, and how he made his millions at such a young age. He attributes his financial success to his search for freedom. He claims that all of the most successful people today seek freedom above anything else. By putting their freedom first, they are consciously choosing a life of freedom. These people are willing to do whatever it takes to live the life of their dreams, and will stop at nothing. If this means taking substantial risks that could ultimately end in embarrassing failure, so be it. It’s worth the price.

These freedom seekers would rather live a life with an empty stomach, than with an empty heart.

In order to experience true freedom, you must unsubscribe from the societal mindset. You must choose to detach yourself from the nonsense fears of society. You don’t need a job, and you don’t need to invest your money today to secure yourself for the future. You’ve been programmed to think this way, and it’s time to let go of this way of thinking.

When you choose a life of freedom, you are consequently choosing a life of passion for what you do. Without passion, you are a lifeless being, condemned to living a sub-optimal life at the mercy of your external environment. Steve Jobs once said that the only way to feel truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you’re constantly seeking security, finding it often comes with the price tag of sacrificing any chance of pursuing your passions.

Everything Else is Secondary

I’ve made the choice to live a life of freedom, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life, regardless of my financial situation. Everything else is secondary. I don’t believe life is worth living if you’re wasting your time doing things you don’t love to do. I have chosen to spend my life in my own way, and I will do whatever it takes to maintain this freedom.

My decision to drop out of school was fueled by this desire for freedom. The few hours per day I spent in class, and the hours I spent studying for tests were a waste of my time. I was spinning my wheels focusing on something that had no value to me. School was constricting my freedom. The decision to drop out was actually quite easy to make once I accepted my school situation for what it was.

Exercise: Where Are You Choosing Security Over Freedom?

Let’s do an exercise. Take a few moments to examine your own life.

Open a word document, and start writing down all of the areas of your life in which you are sacrificing your freedom for security. If the security seems necessary (working a job you hate to support your family), write it down anyway.

Once you’re finished, look at your list. You may be thinking, “There’s nothing I can do about these areas of my life. If I change any of these areas, I won’t be able to survive.” Understand that you are choosing to sacrifice your freedom for these illusions of security. You could easily say to yourself, “I’m quitting my job, regardless of the consequences, because my freedom is more important to me than anything else.”

The funny thing is that when you muster up the courage to confront these areas of your life and take action, things somehow always fall into place. When you quit the job you hate to start doing something you love you may be financially unstable for a while. But in the end you will find yourself to be more financially successful than you ever were or could have been working your job.

Uncertainty is All There is

In his book, The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success, Deepak Chopra explains that in the universe, uncertainty is all there is. Your job isn’t guaranteed. Your financial situation isn’t set in stone. Your health is always changing. Heck, you don’t even know if you’ll be alive tomorrow. Accept this as truth, and make the most of the life you DO have right now.

By choosing to accept that uncertainty is all there is, we will experience joy by stepping into the field of all possibilities. In this field we are able to live our life with complete and total freedom, experiencing everything and anything life has to offer. We go with the flow of life, and we detach ourselves from the need for certain outcomes, because we know certain outcomes never truly exist.

Security does not exist in nature. The longer we search for it, the longer we bar ourselves from truly experiencing life. Why waste your time searching for something that doesn’t exist? Understand that at any moment, everything you’ve worked so hard to create in your life could be taken away. A family member may pass away, you may get laid off from your job, or you may be critically injured in a car accident. Attempting to protect yourself from these things by creating a false security net to lie in is ultimately futile.

The next time you’re considering giving up your freedom for a security, remember this quote by Helen Keller.

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”

What You Can Do

Decide, right now, that you are going to live the life of your dreams. Understand that there is nothing more rewarding than being able to spend your life in your own way. When you make this choice, you will discover that the “safety” net you were previously working so hard to create and maintain wasn’t contributing to your safety at all. Instead, this net served as a wall preventing you from experiencing all of the freedom life has to offer. Security was merely an illusion.

Giving up what we already have for freedom may seem like a huge sacrifice initially. We may end up broke, or society may ostracize us for what we are trying to do. What these people don’t understand, however, is that unless you’re living a life of total freedom, you’ve really got nothing at all.

Courageously seek freedom, and you will surely find it. And in your search for freedom, you will be consciously choosing a life of excitement, fulfillment, and abundance each step along the way.

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. Choose to seek freedom, not security.

Photo by abnelgonzalez

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